The Greater Antilles
Part Thirty-Eight
by Mish


Mish had somehow skulked in the shadows after the pilots had entered the mansion. She didn't like to call it skulking, though, she liked to call it 'observing'. It had a nicer ring to it, although generally speaking it meant exactly the same thing.

After going back into the mansion, and dropping off Kat's and her stuff in their (seperate!) rooms, she had gone down to the dining hall "Gotta stop calling it 'Traders'." She had muttered to herself, thinking of a million-or-so miles away, where her university cafe/bar/general hanging around before lectures and seminars place lay. She had collected a plate, a fork and a knife (what, with there being no spoons) and some chips (called 'French Fries' by the unknowing people of America, apparently) and some Mayo-naise (poor joke only applicable to viewers of An Officer And A Gentleman) and retreated into a dark and shadowy corner to eat. (Gratuitous paretheses will stop now).

A food fight had begun. Whilst this was continuing, Claire had spoken up, "Um... Anti... was there, by any chance, some sort of hallucinogenic in the food?"

No one answered, and Mish couldn't be bothered to think of a witty retort.

Claire pointed at the table. A drink could be seen, the liquid flicking from one side to another in T-Rex style.

Mish started humming the Jurrasic Park theme tune again.

Claire's eyes widened.

"Claire, there's no such thing as dinosaurs anymore." Mish said levely, breaking out of her theme song.

Unfortunately, this made the eyes of Face, Phanan, Claire, Anti and a couple of others turn to Mish. She gulped under the spotlight. This isn't supposed to happen, she thought, Writers aren't supposed to deal with things like this. We're not equipped to deal with things like this. The spotlight is for actors, polititians and attention seekers, which, thinking about it, are basically the same things...Not me!

"But according to the Alternate Reality theory," Claire said, "They could be here!"

"Yeah," Kat said. She had probably also been lurking around, as Mish had. "Remember that episode of SG-1 where Danny goes to the Alternate Earth?"

"I remember, I remember." Mish replied, as Kat went off into a Daniel Jackson tangent.

The glass of liquid bounced more.

As did the floor.

As did most of the WAASers and pilots.

"Oh sith." Mish muttered. "I suppose you want me to go kill it?"

Claire nodded.

"Brilliant. Juuuust brilliant. Fetch the bags, Mish, carry them to Kat's room, Mish, kill the man-eating giant T-Rex, Mish, get rid of the Velociraptors, Mish. And my doctor said something about a malformed public-duty gland..." Mish could be heard to mutter as she exited the room and went outside.

Keen blue-green eyes scanned the area outside the mansion. These eyes were not alone, they were inserted into a head, the head of Mish, which was joined to her body. Thankfully, she was whole, and had no defects other than those specified earlier, and a slight fluctuating case of insanity.

"Helloooo, itty-bitty dinosaurs, anybody there?" Mish asked into the sky. The sky appeared to have turned a rather fetching shade of grey. This was a lie, the shade was not fetching. Nor were the black clouds which loomed ahead.

"And it's going to rain." Mish pronounced. She shrugged philosophically, "At least tis a weather I'm used to, I suppose."

The banging was more precise out here, more specific. Mish cocked her head to one side, and followed it. It did occur to her this was a fool-hardy and possibly suicidal thing to do, but hey, she could sweet-talk an unintelligent T-Rex, couldn't she?

Couldn't she?

No, she couldn't.

Ten or so minutes past, these minutes consisting of Mish walking into the forest, and the Heavens opening up and pouring forth libations of hydrogen and oxygen mix (two to one) onto Mish's head. The banging continued, getting stronger each step Mish took. After these ten or so moments, she came across the object which was causing the banging and T-Rexness of the drinks.

"Oh." Mish said, as she looked at a large wooden dinosaur statue, just outside the small fence which ran around the WAASers mansion and had hithero forgone a mention.

She knocked on the wood.

It sounded hollow.

"This reminds me of something." The young lady pondered to herself. "Now if only I could place a finger on what it was."

The large wooden dinosaur (large enough to fit at least three armies of men, women or assorted furry creatures from Alpha Centuri) had a rope attached to it, and attached to this rope was a small green coloured Landrover.

Posessing no driving license, Mish got into this automobile, and drove it back to the mansion, smugly knowing that the thumping noise would get larger and louder as she dragged the huge object along. It was a very good job that the trees in this area of the forest were rubber trees, or palm trees which had possibly been genetically engineered with some rubber tree in them, so that they sprung back up as the dinosaur pushed past them.

As she drove, she hummed the Jurrasic Park theme, and thought about the ancient civilisation which had lain on these parts before WAAS had claimed the island for it's own devices. They were a proud race of lemon-worshipping vegtable eaters, who had almost totally gladly given the WAASers their isle in replacement for a luxury pleasure cruiser with which they now cruised the tepid waters of the deep blue sea, searching for the true Lemon King and all who despised fruits which weren't citrus, to join their ranks.

Just before the WAASers had entered the isle, there had been a huge fight between the two factions. The ones who thought the hats should be red, and the ones who thought they should be blue, but that's ludicrous as they were supposed to be green... Mish thought, remembering a Red Dwarf re-run on TV... A faction had emerged which prefered oranges to lemons. The battles had been long, sour, brutal and quite often sticky.

The Lemon faction had given the WAASers free run of the isle, in exchange for the cruiser, and banished the Orange faction out to sea in large boats with mermaids on the front of them. They had not gone happily.

Narrowly avoiding hitting Claire's small FlightSuitOrange!VWBeetle, Mish skidded 'her' Landrover to a halt. It ran a little too far because of the speed she was travelling at, and the wetness of the mud track (it was raining quite heavily indeed now, and Mish was sobbing wet). She got out of the Landrover and up the steps into the mansion.

She skidded her way down the polished marble hallway, through assorted polished marble floored rooms, and into Trade-the dining room. "Hey everyone!" she called, immediately knowing the attention would, yet again, be drawn to her, this time from everyone, not just a small congregation of Wraiths, Anti, Kat and Claire, "Come and have a look at what I just found outside! And no, Claire, it's not a T- Rex."

The WAASers and pilots sensed the urgency of her voice, and all ran out of the mansion to look at the wooden dinosaur. Mish trudged after them, cold, wet and almost possibly miserable.

The sight of the WAASers and pilots mouth's agape and eyes wide looking at the wooden dinosaur was enough to make Mish grin sideways, though.

Claire was the first to speak. "Look at the size of that thing!"

Continued in 39