"Captain Antilles! Get your ass in here, right now!"

Wedge Antilles jumped at the unaccustomed sound of his commander's raised voice, scattering data disks all over his desk. Cursing quietly, he subconsciously tugged his jacket straight as he strode quickly across his office to the interconnecting door. "Yes, Boss? What's the problem?"

Luke Skywalker stood behind his desk, leaning forward on rigid arms as he stared at his computer terminal. It didn't take a Force-sensitive to know he was angry. Wedge gulped.

"What," growled Luke, "is this?" He speared his second-in-command with a glare, blue eyes dark with fury.

Oh, Gods, thought Wedge as he almost ran to see what was on the terminal. He's found out what I did with the duty roster last week. Or maybe he's seen Janson's requisition for contraception. But it was worse. Much worse. "It's ... umm ... fanfic, Sir."

"Fanfic?" snapped Luke. "What in all the hells is fanfic?"

Wedge's eyes drifted towards the lightsaber lying within easy reach of the Commander's right hand. He was going to end up sliced into bits. Tiny, little bits. "Er, they're stories, Sir. The techs write them."

"Your name seems to crop up fairly frequently."

Wedge nodded and wondered if now was a good time to make a run for it.

"Mine, too," said Luke between clenched teeth. "Often in the same stories. Stories that would make the Emperor blush."

"Umm, I'm not sure..." His voice abandoned him as he withered under Luke's angry glare.

"And they were on one of the disks you gave me this morning. I'm supposed to be reviewing accounts, not reading smut obscene enough to take the fur off a Wookiee!"

"I don't write the stuff, Sir," replied Wedge in a small voice. "The guys ... it just ... it's a bit of fun. Sir."

"Fun?" He slowly straightened and walked round the desk, coming to a stop directly in front of his subordinate. "Fun? It implies that you and I are having a relationship." He leaned forward, his eyes boring into Wedge's. "A sexual relationship."

He was dead. Soooooo dead. "I'm sorry, Sir. You weren't supposed to see it."

"That much is obvious."

"It won't happen again. I'll get all the disks and dispose of them..."

Luke took a step towards him, forcing Wedge to stumble backwards. "Too damn right you will, Antilles."

"And I'll have a word with the other pilots..." He retreated again as Luke moved forwards.

"Good. They shouldn't be reading this stuff. Their egos are bigger than their X-wings as it is."

"And the techs. I'll talk to the techs," said Wedge soothingly. The suggestions appeared to be working - the commander didn't seem quite so angry now.

"Can't stop them writing, Antilles. Just ask them to keep it to themselves," replied Luke quietly as he continued to advance.

Wedge's back bumped against a wall and he looked up to meet Luke Skywalker's blue-eyed gaze. "Umm, Commander? Did you honestly not know these stories existed?"

A tiny smile finally tugged at the corners of his mouth. "Of course I knew. I know everything that goes on around here."

"Then why..."

"Because I love to see you squirm, Antilles." He leaned in the last few centimeters and pressed a sensual kiss to his lips.

Finis

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