Of Pigs and Rogues
by Arwen

"Blah… blah… blah… the battle of Saratoga… the Marquis de Lafayette… blah… blah…blah…"

Dear Tawg! Does he EVER shut up?! I usually like history, but 'Watty' could make sex boring and mundane! That and the fact that he talks about his pigs more than history. I put my head down on my desk and close my eyes…

…someone's shaking me and I start awake.

"Huh? Oh, sorry…" my eyes open and my voice trails off. For, standing over me, is HIM, the Almighty TAWG, Wedge Antilles, wearing his dreamsicle suit. I sit up and look around.

"C'mon, Arwen! We gotta go! We have a mission briefing in twenty minutes!"

Arwen? How does he know that name? I'm lying on a bunk large enough for two in a small room with deep blue carpet and pale blue walls with white trim. I crawl out of the bed and Wedge thrusts another dreamsicle suit at me.

"C'mon! Get dressed!" I grab the suit and gape at it. It's just my size, and the name tag over the right breast says, "A. Undomièl"

huh? Am I in 'Star Wars,' 'Lord of the Rings,' or some bizzare combination of the two?

"Arwen! Stop gaping and get dressed!" Something in his tone tells me that he really doesn't want me to get dressed, and at that moment, I realize that I'm au naturel. Further, Wedge is studying me very intently. I pull on the suit and the boots he then gives me.

"Okay, what's up?" I ask, then notice that it'sWedge who's 'up.' He notices my gaze and blushes.

"Arwen, c'mon! We have work to do!"

"We most certainly do!" I wrap my arms around him, cover his mouth with mine and grab his zipper, yank it down. I drop to my knees in front of him, but somehow, I don't do it right and wind up sprawled on the floor…

…floor that is suddenly yellow linoleum, not blue carpet.

"Have a nice nap?" It's Watty's voice, sounding amused. There is laughter. I look around and the class is snickering at my sprawled form. I scramble to my feet and back into my chair. Watty turns and heads back to the front of the room.

"Well, y'know, as I was saying, there is nothing like a sow, that's a female pig, y'know, with an infected teat! I mean…"


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