When in the course of human (and/or alien) events, it becomes necessary for one group of sapient beings to acknowledge the superiority and greatness of another sapient being and to proclaim among the powers of the Universe the magnificence of said superior being, a decent respect to the opinions of all beings requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to worship.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that while all men are created equal, some are inherently greater than others, and that these men are endowed by their Creator (if such a thing there be) with certain unalienable (no offense to non-humans) emblems of virtue, that among these are bravery, ability to hold one?s liquor, and floofy hair-- That to admire these emblems Societies are instituted among People (especially women) deriving their just powers from the consent of the Society members.
The history of General Wedge Antilles is a history of repeated acts of Courage, Selflessness, and Perfectly Lovable Characteristics, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Reign of Lust over this Society. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid universe.
He has said cute things. ("Look at the size of that thing!")
He looks damned good in a variety of clothing. (Orange flightsuits, lavender hot pants, glitter, comfy drawstring sleep pants, Twi?lek warrior togs, dress uniforms, nothing at all)
He can fly an X-Wing.
He survived two Death Star runs.
He is the Liberator of Coruscant
He is the True Animist Warrior God
He is willing to hand-fight large, tattooed Twi?leks for the good of the Galaxy.
He has an adorable smile.
He "embodies the ideals of the Rebel Alliance even better than Luke Skywalker." (credit: George Lucas)
He can put up with Wes with relative ease and grace and He can get Wes nekkid.
He is, apparently, the slut of the century (in our fic).
He can look Loka Hask in the face and not laugh his butt off at that critter on his face.
He can put up with the Farmboy with relative ease and grace.
He puts up with all our fic.
In every stage of these works we have grown ever more to adore Him. We, therefore, the Members of the Wedge Antilles Admiration Society, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good Members of this Society, solemnly publish and declare, that General Wedge Antilles is, and of a right ought to be, Admired and Desired, that He and His fellow pilots (unspecified male and female members of Rogue and Wraith Squadron with the exception of Erisi Dlarit who is a little bitch) should henceforth be proclaimed the Saviors of the Rebellion, the Deliverers of the New Republic, and the Objects of Veneration of the People of the Universe.
And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of the Divine Wedge, we mutually pledge to Him our Creativity, our Lust and our sacred Drool Buckets.
Back to WAAS