"Oh Zarquon." Mish held her head in her hands. "Not a Jedi. Please not a Jedi."
"Just thought the tension could do with a little cutting?" Face suggested.
"No, that was a lightsaber noise." Mish groaned, sounding defeatist. "And I oh-so-thought I'd get away without them..."
"Hiss-snap?" Ford asked, sneakily pouring the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster he'd spiked for Face into a pot-plant (or rather, potted plant, 'cause we're not insinuating anything here, are we? It was a swiss-cheese plant, damnit!)
Mish looked up, "No, snap-hiss."
"Snap-hiss is different from hiss-snap." Mish said, standing up and walking towards the exit of the lounge, towards the control room, "What was that?"
"I dunno..." Ford said getting up and putting a hand on Mish's shoulder. "You'd better stay here."
Mish got all upset at this, and put her hands on her hips, pulling away from Ford.
There goes that Plan of Action. Ford thought to himself.
"Right, let's go see what it was then." Mish said.
Face nodded, and brought out his blaster, ready to shoot whatever was necessary in order to save His Girl (ChivalrousYetGunTotting!Face).
Ford glared, and brought out a Kill-O-Zap pistol.
Mish wondered which was more effective as a euphemism, and snerked.
The two guys exited the room, and Mish seated herself back down on the sofa, picking up the bottle of Ol' Janx Spirit and taking a huge slug of it. "This is the life." She muttered to no-one in particular.
"HUH?!" Mish jumped.
"Well, who do you think 'hiss-snaped'?!" the voice replied.
"Uhm... Some Jedi with a serious Lightsaber Problem? Corran's lightsaber after Izzy threw it away after the Rogue Survivor Fic?"
"The cheeseplant, stupid."
Mish refused to believe that she was being called stupid by a cheeseplant. "I refuse to believe I'm being called stupid by a cheeseplant!" she said.
"Even one with improbably magical powers?"
" Even one with improbably magical powers. Especially with improbably magical powers, in fact."
"Certainly." Mish summed up. "I'm just waiting for Ford and Face to come back with some sort of trophy for killing the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal who obviously made the snap-hiss sound."
"Hiss-snap." The cheeseplant corrected.
"It was me who made that sound."
"A cheeseplant hiss-snapped?"
Face and Ford skidded back into the lounge.
Mish took another slug of the bottle of Ol' Janx Spirit. It was then she realised the cheeseplant might not actually be speaking to her at all, it might just be her imagining it due to consumption of mass quantities of alcohol which she wasn't used to, considering it wasn't even from her homeplanet. She shrugged and waved drunkenly to Ford and Face.
"Mish?!" Face asked.
"Mish?!" Ford asked.
"Uhm... Yeah. I think. Wanna check?"
"Or else she's a cheeseplant." The cheeseplant said back.
"No, I don't think I am."
"Am what?" Ford wanted to know.
"A cheeseplant." Mish answered amicably.
"She's drunk." Face said. Damnit, I knew I forgot to tell her not to drink the spirit I spiked for Ford.
A voice - a shout actually - interrupted them, "Froods? You might wanna
get over here and check out this cool, this real cool thing. Out here.
Cool. I knew
this would happen at some point! I am SO good, I should be on the radio!"
Continued in Part Three