Whose Line is it Anyway?
Episode 1/b
by Xaverii Jade

*music starts*

[Corran] Hello, and welcome back to Whose Line?! Our next game is called `Scenes From A Hat'. This is for all four of you.

*The guys get up and go to opposite sides of the stage*

[Corran] Okay, the way this works is that before the show we asked the audience to write down some funny scenes on a card, and we put the good ones in this hat.

*He pulls up an old blaster-charred storm trooper helmet and sticks his hand inside, pulling out a card*

[Corran] Okay, the first scene is `Things Not To Say To The President Of The NR'.

*Wes comes out*

[Wes] Hey sir! Is that new flea shampoo working out good for ya?

*Audience laughs, Tycho comes out*

[Tycho] Hey! I'm wearing those new jeans they named after you! *he points to the label* See? `Bothan Bastard Brand'!

*Audience laughs*

[Corran] Okay! Next we have `Famous People With Stupid Hairstyles!'

*The audience gasps as a deranged girl runs on stage wearing an `I love the Rogues' t-shirt and holding a mike*

[Girl] Hi! We're the cast of Star Wars and even though we are in a movie that takes place a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, we all have hairstyles from the seventies!

*Audience laughs. Corran, Wedge, Wes, Tycho, and Hobbie look confused*

[Tycho] What's `the seventies'?

[Wes] What's a `movie'?

[Wedge] What's `Star Wars`?

*Security drags the girl offstage*

[Corran] Okay! Umm… I don't know what that was all about but it sure was funny! Okay, the next scene is…

*The girl runs back onstage*

[Girl] Star Wars is real! It is! It really happe-

*The girl is wrestled to the floor by a security guard. We see that it is Dave from Jerry Springer*

[Audience] *chanting* Whose Line? Whose Line? Whose Line? Whose Line? Whose Line?…

[Dave] Shut up! Just because I decide to change careers…or… um…shows, doesn't mean Whose Line? Is a violent talk show!

[Corran] Why did you change shows?

[Dave] That show was high risk! Do you know how many times I've had to go to the hospital with concussions after being hit with chairs?

[Corran] Okay, back to the show!

*Dave leaves the stage with the obsessed girl*

[Corran] Our next game is called `Compellation Album' !

*Audience cheers*

[Corran] This game is for all four of you. Wes and Hobbie are the two guys trying to sell a music collection CD, and Wedge and Tycho will sing the songs they came up with!

*The audience says they should sing `Sons of the Famous Ex- Girlfriend'!

[Hobbie] Hello everyone! We will be back to our documentary `Mating Habits of Mynocks' in just a moment, but first, do we have a deal for you, don't we Wes?

[Wes] We do? *Hobbie kicks him* Oh, right! We have over 5,000 songs on a super modified platinum compact holo disk about famous ex-girlfriends, modified just for you!

[Hobbie] And if you comlink us right now, we'll give it you for free!

* We see Hobbie turn to the side and pretend to talk to someone*

[Hobbie] Well, apparently our producer said we cannot give it away for free, but we will give you a small blade and put you in a room to do whatever you please with Corsec for 10 minutes if you call within the next standard hour!

[Corran] Hey!

[Wes] Let's tell the viewers all about the great songs they will be getting in this collection Hobbie!

[Hobbie] Okay!

*Wes looks at him*

[Wes] Aren't you going to tell them?

[Hobbie] It was your idea.

[Wes] Okay! Hobbie?

[Hobbie] Yes, Wes?

[Wes] What's the name of a music style that's also a slang term for the pubic hair of an Omawati?

[Hobbie] Umm….. Funk?

[Wes] No! It's bluegrass!

[Hobbie] Oh!

*Audience laughs*

[Wes] And a really great bluegrass song off this album is "Ha Ha Bitch, You Got Dumped'!

*Audience cheers. Tionne starts playing the music*

[Wedge] Well, we were sitting at this table talking all alone.
You think that you dumped me
I know from your smug tone
But even as we're talking
And you're thinking I'm a chump
You'll know Ill be laughing behind your back `cause
Ha Ha Bitch You Got Dumped!

[Tycho] You think that you're so innocent
Running around with Wedge
I bet you have no idea
I'd like to push you off a ledge--

[Corran] Okay! That's it for today folks! See you next week on--

[Tycho] Hey!

[Corran] What?

[Tycho] I was in the middle of my song you stupid cop!

[Corran] oh, well.. Too bad. We ran out of time. See you next week!

*Tycho huffs away*

To be continued...

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