Smog Linked to Health Risks

Coruscant was never known for spa-like health benefits, but lately the planet has become nearly unbearable in some areas. Smog is so thick in the former Invisec that children wouldn't play outside even if there weren't turf-wars and fly-by blastings. Our Sullustan-on-the-street, Pyrr Nep, spoke with the CEO of Noxocu, the largest mnufacturer of fuel in the system, about steps the industry is taking to protect our citizens.

Times: Thank you for speaking with me, Mr... um... may I have your name for the record?

Noxocu: No

Times: Ah. Ahahahaha. *cheeble* Very well, Mr. X. What do you make of the recent study commissioned by the Senate sub-committee for Health, Welfare, and Ramen Noodles?

Noxocu: I think it's-- Ramen Noodles?

Times: The Committee chair likes noodles. He thinks everyone should have access to them. Anyway, the study found that emissions from fuel refinaries such as yours have a negative effect on people's health.

Noxocu: And?

Times: And... ah... Oh! And... what are you going to do about it?

Noxocu: We've commissioned our own study, and the reults show that not only are the emissions not bad for you, they're actually healthy!

Times: Um.

Noxocu: We're starting an ad campaign encouraging all citizens to visit the refinaries at least once a month and inhale deeply.

Times: Um. *cheeble* I don't think I can report that.

Noxocu: Why?

Times: Well, it's not... true. Is it?

Noxocu: Of course it is! If you'll just follow my assistant, Bluto, he'll show you the report.

Times: Oh? Oh! I'd certainly love to see that; if it refutes the Senate study it'll be big news. This could make my--

The Times would like to extend its condolences to the family of Pyrr Nep and express its deep sorrow at his untimely and mysterious demise. Investigations are underway.

In the meantime, visit your friendly neighborhood refinary for a healthy lungful of air.


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