Shoddy droids, shoddy 'spanners, shoddy bolts. Where is all this crap coming from? Where else-- the Jawas. These scavengers have made their way out of the desert and onto Coruscant, bringing their cheap merchandise and ruthless bargaining with them. The Senate has begun to look into consumer protection against these smelly little beasts, but we haven't heard much from the other side. Not that we care what they have to say. The Times Ewok-on-the-street, Kuna, spoke with Ut-Ut, proprietor of Jawa Jimmie's Droids and Stuff, about these allegations.

Times: Aichawawa

Ut-Ut: Utinni!

Times: Das at gerdroided mal?

Ut-Ut: bp-bp-bp. Nosen mal.

Times: Und der lousen bargaininganing?

Ut-Ut: Nossen! bp-bp. Utinni!

Times: Bleed and die, yub yub!

The Times wishes to extend its apologies to its readers for the horrific lack of carnage in this week's issue. Unfortunately, Kuna and Ut-Ut resolved the conflict-- whatever it was-- amicably. We'll try harder next week.

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