General Han Solo, hero of many battles, consort of Princess Leia Organa, possibly the most famous non-Jedi in the galaxy. What is he really like? What are his hopes for the future? Are he and Princess really that serious? Our Ewok-on-the-street, Kuna, takes a second turn as Times interviewer for this exciting inquiry into the mind of a hero.

Times: Aichiwawa!

Solo: Um. 3PO!

C-3PO: He says "Greeting, O Great General of the Stars, He who destroyed a Death Star, He who bested the Black Beast of Aaaaaagh, He who--"

Solo: Yeah, yeah. Greetings, furry thing.

Times: B'niki umchuda glink?

C-3PO: Did you want to be a Hero when you were a child?

Solo: No, I wanted to be a pirate.

Times: Hlegel bischen umlaut?

C-3PO: What kind of training did you undertake to become a Hero?

Solo: Oh, nothing special...

Times: Bankara uduna iki?

C-3PO: So you didn't tell another officer that your training consisted of "drinking, gambling, and whoring?"

Solo: Look, tell the midget--

Times: Giiiink!

C-3PO: They prefer "little being," Sir.

Times: Battement glisse?

C-3PO: And do you, in light of this, consider yourself a fit consort for the Princess of Alderaan, the purest light in the galaxy?

Solo: Look, short stuff, I could tell you stories about her that would fry your fur. Like that time on Tangere, when she dressed up like a--

Unidentified voice who is certainly not the Princess, nope, not the Princess at all: HAN!

Solo: Oh, sh*t.

The Times regrets to inform its readers that General Solo left the interview before its completion. Check back next week as Kuna begins a record third week as the Times interviewer.

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