Is it possible that no one insulted me last week? I can hardly believe it...

Q: I found a lump on my ankle. I think it's just water retention, but my significant other wants me to go to the Medcenter. Is he overreacting?

A: It depends. Is the lump squishy and does it encircle the entire ankle? Or is it more of a hard bump? Is it, perhaps, oozing purple puss and rapidly changing shape until you don't know what you'll see when you look down? Or does it simply wiggle like a bowl of Bota Jelly? Anyway, I don't care.

Q: Why does it always rain on me?

A: Because you suck.

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