Ask the Dapper Duo

Due to the recent incapacitation of our usual columnist, the Times has asked Captain Garik "Face" Loran and Flight Officer Ton Phanan to answer this week's mail.

Q: I'm about to start my second year at the University of Coruscant, and my best friend thinks we should room together. It sounds cool, but is it a good idea to bunk with buddies?

Phanan: That's a tough situation. You don't want to hurt your friend's feelings, but you also don't want to listen to him clip his toenails. At least with a stranger, you can throw something at him. Friends take finesse.
Loran: What would you know about finesse? You store your dirty socks on my bed!
Phanan: Just so you won't miss me when I'm gone. You like it, admit it.

Q: Why does the NR prohibit honor killings?

Loran: Because the stench of bodies might detract from Eau de Coruscant.

Q: I have a problem talking to females that I like. I have female friends, and I can talk to them fine, but really hot females get me tongue-tied.

Phanan: Practice on hot guys. Why don't you give me a call....

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