The Coruscant Times
Where the facts don't matter
October 15, 2001

The Emporer Lives!


Despite years of propaganda from the New Republic, the Times has discovered that Emporer Palpatine was not killed at the battle of Endor; that he in fact fled to Hapes and lives there under an assumed name. We suspect that Senator Organa's recent excursion to Hapes was not, as she claimed, to bring the Hapan Empire into the New Republic, but to negotiate with former Emperor Palpatine.

What does this mean for relations between the New Republic and the Empire? Sources inside the Senate report that two factions are forming; one, led by Chief of State Mon Mothma, advocates patience. The other, led by Senator Fey'lya, insists that the Senate should strike now against a possible Imperial resurgance. This is not surprising, given the Bothan senator's frequent diatribes against an alliance with Hapes.

Unfortunately, the senators themselves are suspisciously quiet about this matter. Our reporters were asked to leave the Senate Chamber after repeatedly requesting information. Senator Berusk, Corellia, denied all knowledge. "What are you people on? Where do you come up with this bantha****?" Nevertheless, the Times is committed to keeping you informed about the Emperor's movements.

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