The Coruscant Times
Where the facts don't matter
October 1, 2001

Nerfsteak Shaped like Mon Mothma's Head!

A tiny tapcaf on a lower level was visited by a miracle this week, in the form of a nerfsteak resembling our Chief of State. Tapcaf Ab'lcos owners, Il'kar and Dan'ai Tresk, believe that this deiscovery is a good-luck omen.

"Kr'glak al baranek, da pootie nee!" Il'kar informed the Times. Dan'ai agreed-- "Tootie tootie boh booty, banana fanna fo footie."

One of their waiters, however, seemed to disagree.

"She just called you a moron, moron. Dude, how can you interview them if you don't even speak Ignatian? Don't you have a protocol droid or a translator? Sith..."

But their chef, when question about the veracity of the Tresks' claim, acknowledged, "If you turn your head this way, maybe you can get something. Or maybe it's this way. I dunno. I can't see anything. Hey-- can I cook this before it spoils more?"

Clearly, this vision can only be seen by the holiest of our citizens, a fact readily admitted by the Tresks' bartender. "Oh yeah, they see lots of stuff. Last week we had to save a pile of veilwu shells 'cause Il'kar thought it was a baby naga."

But they are pious, yes?

"Oh, sure. Especially the pork."

Indeed, this reporter found the pork pies quite delightful going down, and nearly so coming back up. Check back next week for updates to this exciting story!
--Algin Krak

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